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I am finally standing on my own
or trying to
trying to survive you
or die
an explosion in my head
after your left
bending and stretching me
like forged iron
trying to be you
to understand you
but no big deal
or so I believed
trying to feel like you
to feel you
but no big deal
or so I believed
but
I remember the nights
when you would turn your back to me
after we made love
do you remember?
I can’t forget
I would touch your shoulder
the last thing before I closed my eyes
and the first thing when I awoke
was you.
now
trying to understand my faults
and maybe I was wrong
but I never
ever
in these three years
stopped loving you
I fought for us
or I believed that I was
and you still left me behind
so easily
so cruelly
I was there
and you were there
and now you’re not
and that kills me
I know
we can’t be together
I know
other people separate us
I know everything
and I try to live with that
but it’s so fucking hard
I’m the only one who remembers
I’m the only one in pain
are you enjoying it?
does it make you feel better?
does she feel good?
and do they?
do you all feel free of me?
are you enjoying it all?
yes
I’m in deep pain
I’m finally defeated
look at me, if you can
enjoy your victory
you’ve taken your revenge
you’ve torn me apart
into millions of tiny pieces
and still the same question WHY?
is all that there is
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